Thursday, June 17, 2010

Random Annoyances in Children's Movies

I like movies. I like children's movies. But some children's movies make no sense whatsoever, and those annoy me. Here are a few.

Stuart Little: Why does a human couple adopt a mouse? Why can humans hear that mouse talk, but no other animals? Why is it okay for Stuart to live like a human, but the cat is just a pet? Why is Stuart the only mouse/animal adoption? Why does no one else in the movie think this is weird?

Up: I'm gonna catch flack for this one, and I don't care. I normally love Pixar movies, but this one left me cold. The opening is great, where the old guy grows up and has a life. It rapidly goes downhill after that. How could one person inflate enough balloons to lift an entire house in one night/6 hours, let alone one old man? Even if it's winter, which it isn't, and we give him 12 hours, which we don't, it can't be done. And how is it enough balloons to rip a house from its moorings are not enough balloons to lift the house and the tarp covering them? Plus...a hurricane? Really? Even Qualatex balloons aren't going to withstand that, and they're the best. And just how old is that villain? Ninety? One hundred? Pretty spry, if you ask me. I did like the bird-thing, but I'll never watch the movie again.

Bee Movie: Oh, so many annoyances. Bees don't drive cars. Bees die if they sting you. Almost all bees are female, except for the extremely short-lived drones who only exist to fertilize the queen. Even if all the bees stopped pollinating flowers, it would take a full year to notice the difference, not a few days. I don't mind fantasy movies, far from it, but don't bill your fantasy as real life when it so isn't. And most importantly, don't shove a "green" message into it about saving the planet when you don't even have your facts straight. Actually, that is a perfect example of the environmentalist agenda - no facts, no sense, no point.

Those are three I thought of today. I'm sure I'll find more later.

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