Funny Quotes: Beautician and the Beast

I'm a little tired of focusing on the Marcher Lord Select contest, so I'm taking a break today.

The Beautician and the Beast with Fran Drescher and Timothy Dalton was a fluffy little movie with a very old premise: beautiful woman tames savage man. The difference with this movie is the woman is Jewish with a New York accent, and Timothy Dalton is just yummy as the president-for-life (or dictator) of a small European country.

I'd only seen Drescher in The Nanny, but she's got her nasally voice under control in this movie, and it turns out she's a pretty good actress. She has excellent comic timing, anyway.

It's a cutesy little film and I enjoy it more than I should, no doubt. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"Class, it's called Revlon, not Dutch Boy. What do we say? Flashy, not...?"
"Trashy!"

"You should go for your dream. I did."
"But, Daddy, you run a stationary store."
"That was my dream! I love cards."

"Are you kidding? I could find food at Gandhi's house."

"You're nicer than our old teacher. Her breath smelled like something died farting in her mouth."
"Oi!"

"We didn't study Romeo and Juliet..."
"West Side Story, children."
"Oh! I was aware of the gang problems in New York, but I didn't know they were so proficient in ballet."

"Do I not intimidate you at all?"
"Is one of your sideburns shorter than the other?"

"Mom, what's my chicken eating?"
"Same as the rest of us."
"You fed the chicken chicken?"
"I should make two dinners? I don't have enough to do? Besides, it's delicious."
"It's Silence of the Chickens!"

So, I'm laughing now. Hope you are, too.