God's Will

 I used to think God's will was an immutable, predetermined set of events that I was somehow supposed to find and follow as a testament to how well I listened to God. Yeah, it sounds like a load of crap to me, too, when I write it out. 

If it's immutable, why do I have to find it? Shouldn't I just walk into it accidentally? And doesn't that mean that whatever happens is what God meant to happen since it's all His plan? There's a major depressive episode right there. I no longer think it's that simple. One of the reasons I love Jordan Peterson is how quick he is to acknowledge the complexity of life. 

God's will is immutable in that I'm pretty sure everything has already happened. If God is outside time, then I'm in the snowglobe of the universe moving toward timelessness, but I'm also outside it already. This me just hasn't met that me yet. Doctor Who helps a bit with this kind of thinking. 

But what if God's will is a predetermined plan of multiple perfectly acceptable outcomes that all come together in the end no matter which path I choose? I'm not talking about other religions here. I'm talking about this job vs. that job, or this event vs. that event or even this spouse vs. that spouse. Not a choice between good and evil but a choice between two perfectly good choices. 

The times I most want God to tell me what to do are times when, quite frankly, the outcome feels like a big deal but may not actually make that big a difference. If it was a choice between waiting tables or porn star, I don't need a message from above. But to take my car for service today or a week from today? I don't really pray about that, but I do debate over when to take a cat to the vet, or when to take myself to the doctor. Or when to bring up an uncomfortable work topic. 

Yeah, many decisions have an impact. Can I really know which ones will destroy me and which won't? I can't know that. How many people chose to go to the Towers on a whim that day? A seemingly insignificant choice that wasn't insignificant at all.   

God's will is His ability to take what I will do and make it work for Him. I have no idea how He does it. I can't even be 100% sure that He can do it, since it's not over yet. But this is why I call Him God and not myself. He's supposed to be able to do things I can't. Like make it all mean something. 

Keep the faith.