Weary

Scott Wilder has a phrase. "It wearies me."

He uses it when the government does something typically brain dead. I'm using it about Past Ties.

It wearies me.

If I'm tired of griping about it, you must be tired of reading me gripe about it. So why do I continue?
Good question. The best answer I can give is that I used to give up all the time. The minute a story stopped being "easy" to write, I jumped to a new story. I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be a professional. I want to finish what I start.

But I am weary.

So weary I'm "this close" to setting it aside -again- and taking up Dangling Participles, the side-quel to Star of Justice.

I may not be ready to write Past Ties yet. It deals with the search for origins (I know mine), the problem of guilt (I don't believe in guilt) and the pain of unrequited love (I got over that a long time ago).

I just don't have the emotional resources to delve for this story, and it's making me grumpy and difficult to be around. 

Reading my fellow authors' successes on FB has not helped, either. While I'm happy for them and all their gushing and rushing of inspiration spilling out onto their keyboards, my darker half would rather smash those keyboards over their heads than hear about it one more time.

See, that's the "grumpy" I mentioned. I'm not normally the envious type.

Past Ties has one more week. I'm going to take a chance before giving up.

I'm going to jump ahead in the story and write some of those scenes rather than write in order like I did for Star of Justice and Elementals. It's a risk. It's what I used to do when I only wrote the "interesting" stuff and ignored all the groundwork that makes a story more than a short story.

But I'm dying here, and the story is dying with me. Maybe I need something drastic to kick this critter into gear.

Otherwise, February will see a new WIP for NAF, and a new word count, and possibly a new deadline.

'Cause I can't take the weary anymore.