Thursday, September 2, 2010

So Many Thoughts

I want to post about marketing (specifically some new thoughts prompted by Jim Paris), balancing my budget, the movie The Fountain, and some things I've noticed while playing in The Sandbox. I don't think I can give due attention to any of those topics this morning.

Once again, life conspired to awaken me before my alarm clock could. At 2:24 AM Central Time, a thunderstorm with a lot of bark and little bite rolled over my house and took 15 minutes to shut up about it. That means instead of my normal 8 hour sleep cycles, I've had two inadequate naps per night for the last four days. I'm a little scattered this morning. I'm also out of my dark chocolate bars, so I'm a little cranky. And my hair has reached a new horrible phase where it seems to be all bang - impossible to curl, flatten or control in any kind of reasonable manner. On the other hand, Fringe premieres tonight and it's a two-hour episode! Calloo-Callay! I'm desperately hoping that thought can get me through the day.

The cats were awakened early, too, if their current states of sprawled unconsciousness are any indication. The storm was very loud with some spectacular lightning. I'm pretty sure Skamper took to the basement ceiling in his distress. Now, he won't get off my lap. Thankfully Mica is asleep in her box.

Princess Glorya in Elementals goes through almost a month of starvation and sleep-deprivation. She does better with it than I would, but she is a Hero. I just play one on...well, actually, no. I'd be the comic relief and not the plucky kind.

The revisions are not going well. I have plenty to cut in Dyana's sections, but I want to add in Glorya's. I've always felt this way, and I still feel it. Last night, I added almost as many words as I cut. I can't get rid of 8K words if I keep this up, which plops me right back at square one. Most likely, I'll submit anyway, but it will have to be with the "you tell me what goes" kind of plan. That's not useful.

In my renewed quest to prepare for submission, I've re-entered the writing world. This is seriously cutting into my farming time. I knew it would but I don't like it. I've exchanged FV time for Sandbox time and revision time. Time...time...

How do you start an uncomfortable topic? My therapy training tells me you just start and the conversation will pick up from there. That's easier to do in person than in print.

I've noticed something on The Sandbox, and it bothers me a bit. Of course, I only see through a glass darkly. This blog isn't the place to bring it up. I'll send out a generic Post if I have the courage. It's nothing horrible, just one of those moments when you have to ask a "is the VCR plugged in?" kind of question and those can be quite offensive if phrased wrong. Some take offense no matter how carefully the question is phrased. It isn't about any one person. It's just one of those things I've seen throughout my time there, and I'm wondering if anyone else wonders the same thing.

I do my best to be quirky and irresistibly impish in my written dealings, but my default is cold analysis that too often impersonates arrogant contempt. Sigh. I prefer my life to anyone else's but there are moments I wish I were different than I am.

The trouble with an online critique group of strangers is that it is an online critique group of strangers. I believe all of these people mean well, and are competent, capable writers, and would never purposely be mean or spiteful about anything (as I hope I would never be or even seem), but they are strangers. I know them as a name and a writing style. I've lamented before how sterile this kind of long-distance communication is. I would much prefer gathering in a real circle, with real coffee (even if I do have to smell it) and just talking. But that isn't how our world turns now, is it?

Oh dear. I may be a little depressed this morning. That means I should not talk about anything with anyone.

I really hope Fringe starts off well.

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