Monday, June 7, 2010

Wrong Choices

Today's lateness of post is not my fault. I was ready to write at 6 AM, but Blogger was performing some kind of maintenance and wouldn't let me in. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Fact is, I'm thinking for the summer, I'll post during the week and take the weekends off. That's kind of what I've been doing anyway.

Life is full of choices. Will you do this or that? Will you go here or there? Will you eat this dessert or that dessert (and if ever offered a choice between desserts, the correct answer is always "yes, please.")?

I feel like I've been making wrong choices lately. Not "at the end of the world, I'm going to hell" wrong, just "boy I wish I'd chosen the other way" wrong. Spending a day doing one thing when I could have done something else sort of wrong. Planting grapes instead of raspberries kind of wrong, if that even counts. Craving a bologna sandwich but settling for a burrito kind of wrong. Life is too short to settle for a burrito. I can eat both, but I didn't, and I wish I'd had the sandwich.

Perfectionists want all choices to be The Best choice. We agonize over doing just the right thing, even when that thing is as unimportant as choosing a burrito over a sandwich. I'm a recovering perfectionist, but I think I'm back-sliding. When perfectionists back-slide, we tend to do nothing at all for fear of making a wrong choice. So, maybe it's good I'm making wrong choices. At least I'm doing something.

I don't know if it's laziness or apathy or over-the-counter drug use (okay, I know it's not that), but at the end of the day I find myself thinking "I could have done better. Tomorrow, I should do better."
So I'm trying to do better. I'm trying to make some right choices. And I guess if I make some wrong ones, I'll just have to deal with it and move on.

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