Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Only So Many Words

Have I learned an unflattering truth about myself? I want the instant gratification of a FB response.

I love to blog. It appeals directly to my need to connect with people yet maintain a comfortable distance from people. I'm a little weird.

But my couple of faithful readers may have noticed a change in my blogging schedule. Now yesterday wasn't exactly my fault. Mom spent a day in the hospital (she's fine and back home as of 5 PM yesterday), but I was a bit tired from the sitting around in cold waiting rooms and the sporadic bursts of weeping, so I didn't feel much like posting. However, that's only happened once in the last two weeks, and I've missed more days than that.

I could blame my schedule on FV, but I don't think that's it anymore. I bought a tractor, so the planting is happening much faster, and thanks to the advent of warmer weather and longer days, I'm getting up at 4 AM every day, so I have an available hour to blog.

No, I think it's the FB posting. I can get instant comments from my FB Friends on whatever I say on line, and I like that. I like being noticed. See? Not flattering. Add to that my awareness that many of my readers are interested in my writing career which is on hold until high summer, and I feel no particular need to spill my guts every morning on subjects that interest me and no one else, which is odd because I would think I'm more self-centered than that (that was a really long sentence). My life - the dichotomy between intimacy and control.

I probably have no excuse for not posting regularly except at the moment I don't have much to write about. But I did add a reader (a FV neighbor) so I'll try to do better. I promise nothing profound. I am cutting back on FB time, so we'll see if it translates into resumed blog time. If it doesn't, I have no reasons or excuses left.

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