This is day two of a four day fast. I don't care to go into reasons why, but I will say they are neither medical nor spiritual. That is not to say I may not gain medical or spiritual benefits. Those just aren't my reasons this time.
I love food. You cannot be around me for any length of time without realizing I am obsessed with food. There's a reason Joey is my favorite Friend. He and I would eat well together, as long as we didn't take food from each other's plates.
All of my life (you can ask mom) I have suffered from what my doctors call a "touchy metabolism." Sometime in my single-digit years, I was tested and found to be borderline-hypoglycemic. This is doctor-talk for I get sick if I don't eat. I figured this out early. I don't know why it took them so long.
Unfortunately, it's not just about eating. It's about eating the right things. I cannot, for example, eat a hot fudge sundae by itself. That is a guaranteed worship session at the foot of the porcelin god. I have to eat some kind of protein, then I can have the sugar.
I was in my 20's before I finally realized I was tired of suffering the consequences of eating poorly and started reining in the desires that so quickly led to discomfort. I consider it a milestone of maturity.
Fasting is not something I regularly do. I have never studied in a denomination that emphasizes fasting. I have resisted fasting in my younger years because of the low-blood sugar issues. How can I worship my God if I'm kneeling at the bowl-shaped altar of another praying for death? That doesn't make sense to me.
Our church recently studied spiritual disciplines, including fasting. I came to the conclusion it is a worthwhile discipline, something Jesus Himself expects of me, so I'd better get used to it.
Now I practice fasting. One day a month, instead of eating, I complain to God about not eating. Not the ideal, no, since I'm still obsessed with food, but I figure that way, we're still talking and I'm learning I can go without food for a little while. Soon I'll stop complaining and start listening to what God wants me to hear. As with most of Christianity, this is a process. I don't expect to become Master of the Fast overnight.
So the next few days should be interesting. I hope once I know I can do it means I'll be able to do it with a better attitude. I'm sure God is tired of the griping.
So don't offer me dinner or Oreos or some of that plump, white rice sprinkled with Kikkoman soy sauce with the olive oil-sauteed carrots and snap peas. I can't eat them until Saturday.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
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