First thing this morning at work, I ran into a "grrr" moment. It got me thinking. Seven is the number of perfection, but ten is the number of completion, so here are my top ten grrr-makers, in no particular order.
1. Sealing the ends of an envelope in any way (this morning, it was with address labels). I appreciate you want your mail to arrive intact, but exactly how is the recipient supposed to open it? Grrr!
2. Failure to use the turn lane. It's right there. It's entire reason for existence is for your car to occupy it while waiting to turn. I really have to grit my teeth when they are in the turn lane, but their enormous SUV or nineteen-aught-one Lincoln Towncar is so big it blocks my lane anyway. Grrr-grrr!
3. Chewing gum on the phone. You know who you are. Stop it! Grrr!
4. Using "less" instead of "fewer." GRRR! Even TV commercials are doing it now. "Less" applies to an immeasurable substance, like water or air. "Fewer" refers to quantifiable substances, like potatoes or dollars. Less rain causes fewer puddles. Get it? Good. Now call someone and share it. Grrr.
5. Disparity between hot dogs -8 per package- and buns -10 per package. Are we really supposed to buy 80 to break even? Is this some great conspiracy? Grrr!
6. Pump dispensers. How many ounces of whatever are left in the bottom? When did pumping become more useful than gravity? Tip and squeeze. Grrr.
7. Writing "bill me" on a bill and mailing it back. You would not believe how often this happens. Grrrrrrrrr.
8. Saying "wuff" instead of "wolf." There's an "L," folks. Make Henry Higgins proud and use it. Grrrowl.
9. Cats throwing hairballs at anytime before six that ends in A.M. The only worse way I can imagine waking up (that doesn't involve a homicidal maniac, anyway) is with your three year old standing over your bed saying "Mommy, I need to ....blech!" Actually, there's a lot of similarities. Grrr.
And finally, that greatest of all oxymorons,
10. Liberal logic.