Friday, December 9, 2016
One thing Timmi taught me is just because I can doesn't mean I should. Yes, Ian Malcolm taught me that about cloning dinosaurs, but Timmi taught me that about cats.
I kept Timmi with me far longer than I should have because I couldn't let her go. She never complained, and I couldn't have chosen differently at the time, but I will choose differently now.
Simon will not get better. We might squeeze out another month or two, but I can tell he's not comfortable. I don't know that it's extreme pain (it's hard to tell with cats) but it's bothering him.
We'll say good-bye today. Mom is going with us because, as she says, "I was there the first time. I'll be there the last time."
I wish I had solid biblical evidence that I will see him again. I have inferences, and a hope that I will, but the truth is, I don't know for sure. It bothers me a lot. I am choosing to believe that God has bigger plans for all of us in our new Heaven and new Earth, and those plans include my fur friends.
As My Dear Friend once assured me, "It's Heaven. Of course it's big enough."
I will imagine Simon jumping through green fields of soft grass, chasing things that can't die when he catches them - Tribble the rabbit, the now flying fish Ferghani Shen Tsu, Merry, Pippin and Fatty Bolger, ferrets Loki, Freya, Oden-Thor, Rafiki, Tasselhoff and Tandy, and maybe even little Flutterby the moth; meeting Sugar and Timmi, Shawn, Ceaser, Snuffy, Tasha, Tamaran, and Sassy Sasha, and Kneesa, Sera and Wicket; reuniting with Hachiko, Jasper and Mica; sharing stories about how I've grown up, and how much I miss them all and look forward to seeing them again. I'm sure if he could, Simon would break something in the mansion Jesus is preparing for me, just to remind me I'm not all that.
Oh, I will miss my Little Brother. He brought me back to life twelve years ago. I haven't always appreciated how he did it, but he did it. I'm so sorry for all the times I've yelled, and misunderstood, and ignored. I'm so glad for the times we cuddled, and for your silly growly meow, and for The Paw in my cereal, even when you don't eat cereal, Noodlehead. I'm glad we had those sunny times in The Swamp.
I will never know anyone else like you, heart-brother. You earned many names but you will always be my Simon.