Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Permanent

I've expected a lot of things would happen when I published. I did not expect the sense of panic that comes when reading what used to be my manuscript as a Kindle file with the knowledge that every word may as well be set in stone.

TT: I have discovered it's possible to edit print-on-demand files, for a small fee, so I have the opportunity to remove any missed typos. Another reason to love print-on-demand books.

There is a difference between removing typos and changing content. I won't change content. What is there is there. I must now move forward with all subsequent books using this as my baseline. It's a bit scary. I find myself wondering "Why did I say that?" "What was I thinking there?" "Can I work with that?" I'm gonna have to. It's done.

I knew this was true but I wasn't prepared for the feelings that would come with the actual experience. I'm not hiding in the corner yet, but I've had a few squirmy moments.

The calming part is the secure knowledge that no one cares about what I write as much as I do, and most people won't even notice a mistake. Yes, I find comfort in my audience's apathy.

I also figured out that spreadsheet reports work better if you put the deposits in the "deposit" column instead of the "payment" column and include "all dates" when you run the report. I told you it was something obvious.

4 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean about things being locked down, leaving forward as the only way to go. In every artistic thing I do, whether illustrations, animation, writing, music...I'm always tempted to do ONE more revision, try ONE more time. Right after I graduated college and was talking to a mentor about starting over on my senior thesis film and making it "the way I really wanted it to be this time," she said to me, "Sometimes you need to call a project done. Use what you learned to make the next one better, but start a fresh idea."

    As artists, we need to resist the temptation to rehash, since with every word we write, every stroke of the brush, or every phrase played, our skill will increase. Sure, we could rewrite the same book our whole lives, and it could end up a work of classic literature by the time we die. (ala The Lord of the Rings) But it could also become a muddy, overworked mess, (ala The Star Wars franchise)and I find that's the direction I typically end up heading.

    Onward and upward, writing friend!

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  2. You are reading your book? Really? I paged through mine but REFUSE to read it. I can't. I simply...can't.

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  3. Even though I'm not published yet, when I go back and look at old manuscripts, I immediately have a crisis of belief in my ability to write. I think once I'm published, I'll be taking Kat's approach and refuse to read it so that I don't give up writing permanently. lol...

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  4. Becky: Orson Scott Card says the only way to start another book is to finish one. I'm taking him at his word.

    Kat: This won't be a annual thing, but, yes, I like reading my own stuff. Besides, idiot that I am, I deleted all my writing notes and I can't remember the details anymore. I have to reread it since I'm working on one with many of the same characters.

    Ralene: You may reach a point where you accept your flaws and celebrate your skills. There's always that nasty whisper of self-doubt lurking, but for the most part, I'm comfortable that this book anyway is as good as it's going to get. I'll turn my worries to the next one.

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