I'll begin by saying I have no complaints about my life. God has blessed me generously with resources, family, kindness, and patience above and beyond what I would supply were our positions reversed.
TT: Be grateful I'm not God. I would have killed us all before Noah, let me tell you.
With the new job comes a new and slightly improved salary. What's the problem, right?
Well, the problem is the turtle seems to come with a subconscious glass ceiling where money is concerned. Too little and I freak out. Too much and I freak out.
There's nothing wrong with having money. I have no problem with people being rich. I don't think I deserve what they have and I don't want to redistribute anyone's wealth to my bank account (or anyone else's bank account).
In my own life, however, I seem to have this idea that I can't have more than a certain amount in any of my emergency funds or I'm a bad person who's keeping God's money from doing God's work.
Weird, I know.
Again, I don't think God has anything against rich people. Lots of important Biblical figures were rich. Like ridiculously wealthy rich. Like move money to get to the toilet rich. Job. Abraham, et al. Joseph was the second richest guy in Egypt. Solomon the richest in the world. God didn't have anything against those guys.
Dave Ramsey, and his teacher Larry Burkett, equate wealth with an ability to be responsibly generous. Those with money ready can give faster, better and more than those who have no money saved and debt to their eyeballs and beyond.
The connection I can't seem to make is exactly when I cross from being "poor" to being "rich." Please remember the dollar amounts in question are so small as to make the poorest Californian laugh at me for worrying.
"That's my monthly house payment," they might scoff.
Well, if you want to know my feelings about California in general, read my other blog. Plus, Dave would say "broke is normal," so, take that, scoffing Californian!
Where was I? Oh, right. Money.
I'm revamping my budget, rearranging columns in what I hope to be a responsible manner. Having no real experience with wealth building, I'll have to trust Dave and hope to get used to this feeling of not struggling and equate it with "good."
I'm also rereading Thou Shall Prosper. God willing, the good Rabbi Lapin will encourage me yet again.