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Friday, September 16, 2011

Round Pants?

My most recent jeans-buying excursion this summer (after I can't tell you how many years) led to the exciting realization I fit into size 10s.

TT: Personally, I think clothing manufacturers have fiddled with the sizes. In the last ten years, I've worn things marked "6" that are bigger than things marked "8" from 20 years ago. Yes, the turtle still has clothes from 20 years ago, despite the fact she hasn't fit in them in almost that long.

Anyhoo, happy that the nice pants fit, I bought them and took them home, where I noticed the black pair are round at the top.

TT: The most annoying part is they fit well in the store. I have no explanation for it except magic.

So I have these pants that fit my legs but leave an inch plus gap between waist and fabric. It's a bit like an egg cup. Who's built like that?

Women fall into three general shapes: apple (top-heavy), banana (no waist) and pear (bottom-heavy).
The majority, myself included, are pears. I don't know anyone who's egg-shaped, so why are the pants made like that? Maybe they're supposed to hug my hips, but if that's the case, my rise is too low, cause when I put the waist around my hips, I need silk boxers and a heavy gold chain to complete the look.

Tis a mystery, and one of the reasons I don't shop for pants all that often. Most annoying part of the whole thing is I'm not sure they can be fitted. It would require all these little darts and denim just doesn't dart that well.

So, I'll wear them with baggy tops, pretend I'm a marsupial and stash stuff in the over-indulgent waistband instead of in the useless low-cut pockets, hoping, of course, it doesn't slip out through a leg.

Tailors, FYI, fashion in this decade is stupid. No wonder America is fat. You're making our clothes too big.


  1. I have never heard the banana thing before, only apple and pear. I always assumed I was apple because I'm definitely NOT pear. Maybe I am actually banana...makes more sense. I think, though, with my affinity for Cuban food I'll say I'm plantain.

    Anyway, I have the opposite problem. Jeans are usually too tight in the waist and huuuuuge in the hips and legs on me. I gave up trying to find jeans in the misses dept and went back to juniors where I can find stuff for tall chicks with no hips :P.

    Good for you for at least trying. I can't imagine not wearing jeans (or jeans shorts) all the time. It's what I live in. I don't think I own anything for the bottom half of my body that isn't denim.

  2. By the no-waist definition, I must be a banana, but there's no way I'm that skinny, lol.

    However, I have noticed the same trouble with egg-shaped jeans. These days, to deal with the issue, I tend to go for drawstrings or chains, and for living in, sweats. :P

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