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Self-Loathing Week, Day Five
This should be the last day of this. On the other hand, the weekend is almost here.
My second favorite Buffy episode is "Passion." Angel has lost his soul but not his desire for the slayer, and he spends all 43 minutes with his full attention focused on tormenting her.
Dave Ramsey recommends finding your passion and indulging it for the rest of your life. When you love your work, wealth follows. I've been listening to Dave Ramsey a lot lately. As if you couldn't tell.
I have no passion. Believe me, I've looked.
I care about nothing. Well, that's not true, but I don't care about anything passionately. Except my critters, but I can't make a living out of them.
I'm not passionate about writing. I want to write good stories for God, but I don't believe God "laid these stories on my heart."
Sorry for the quotes there. I'm not scoffing at those who do consider writing their God-given ministry, or who believe God will use their books to reach people. I just don't think my writing books is any more a ministry than anything else I do. I am a Christian who writes. If God wants to bless the readers, more power to Him.
TT: The question of "what is a ministry?" is a big one and has been debated (to death, in my opinion) in other places. I don't care to get into here. I will agree with Ocilla's Mommy that you never know who may be watching, so it is important in all you do to do it for Christ. I would hope all who carry the name "Christian" would strive for that.
What I do notice about other writers is passion. They have it. You have to have it to maintain the level of insanity required to seek publication. Conferences help renew passion. That's why I support them in spirit even if my flesh is weak.
Stupid flesh.
Without passion to motivate me, I'm left with stubbornness. I suppose I could do worse. I'm pretty stubborn. But some days, I wish a had a little passion. Even a smidgen would help.
Hey! Maybe I'm passionate about self-loathing. I've sure enjoyed writing these posts.
And Godspeed to all those submitting to PYP's October Fantasy Month. You have the next 31 days to get your YA book proposals and first 3 chapters emailed. Look up their page on FB for more details.
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I can so identify with your lack of passion and your feeling guilty about it. I'm not inspired right now, and I find it really hard to just sit down and write if I'm not inspired. There are enough words in the world already without piling on others just for the sake of "exercising my gift."
ReplyDeleteLately I haven't even had much of a passion for God, which disturbed me greatly for a while. But then it was like He said to me, "Look. You're human. You can't be passionate all the time. Our relationship is a stable one. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. So let's just chill for a while." Is that heresy? I don't think so. I was chatting with a friend who basically said the same thing about her relationship with God right now. After you've prayed about it, asked God to show you if there's something clogging the gasline, you wait patiently. This, too, shall pass.
A pastor once told us that the Holy Spirit in our lives was like a pilot light. Always a little flame there, just enough to spark a big fire when the house gets cold and someone turns up the thermostat.
I'm going to trust God with the thermostat. He's so good, isn't He?
He is good.
ReplyDeleteI'm familiar with the "God as pilot" metaphor. I've never heard of "God as pilot light." Hehe. Gonna have to mull that one.
For those who don't remember, Ginny is the author of Zinovy's Journey from the MLS Book Contest last October. The big contest, not the little one I entered.
Thanks for stopping by! I've added your blog to my list, and I invite everyone to join her on her journey to self-publication. Who knows? It may one day be my journey, too.