Monday, July 26, 2010

A Little Depressed

Over the last week, it's occurred to me, I've been a little depressed.

Well, yeah, you're thinking. Your grandma died.

Yes, she did, and that's part of it. But Grandma is in heaven. Her troubles are over. Mine just keep on going.

Not that I have it bad. I have a job, a home, family that love me, money in the bank. I live in America, the greatest country in the world, even if I'm the only one who thinks so. And I know Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, which pretty much trumps everything else.

So what do I have to be depressed about? Let's see.

My job is becoming more stressful by the day (in this economy? Shocking!).

I worry about my home, what will happen to it and my little ones if the Cap and Tax bill gets pushed through Congress this winter as predicted. I'm already bracing for my employer to drop my insurance and force me into a government plan (what employer wouldn't? Keep my insurance, my big toe). A useless government plan that won't cover the mammograms I'll need to find the breast cancer I'm 65% likely to develop in the next 10 years or the treatments I'll need when it is finally found. Which is fine, because who wants to live as a socialist anyway?

My family and friends are facing their own stresses: some economic, some relational, all difficult. They aren't my problems, but they feel like my problems because I love these people.

Money in the bank never feels like enough. That's the problem with trusting in money.

America is falling into such a state of decadence and decay we may never recover. I turn on the news or the radio and I see and hear evil. I don't want to live in the end times, but I wonder if I am.

I tend toward the melancholy naturally, and when I look around, it is far too easy to see the bad things. Makes a turtle not want to get out of bed in the morning.

But I'm not called to look around. When Peter got out of the boat to walk on water, all he had to do was keep his eyes on Jesus. It was when he looked around that things got troublesome.

So, I'm going to keep my eyes on Jesus. Doesn't mean I'm going to hide in my shell and let the world do what it wants, but it does mean I don't have to be responsible for everything and everyone. Shoot, I'm barely responsible for myself.

Reading Elementals, a book I wrote while studying the power of prayer, I am reminded of God's awesomeness. He is where we are not. He sees what we cannot. His plans will unfold in His time and His way. And as His child, I may suffer here, but I will glory there.

Go away, Depression. I don't have time for you anymore.

Later that day...

It occurred to me the bad hair could be a major player in this. I had no idea just how vain I was.
How depressing.

2 comments:

  1. As much as I may have contributed to your current state of mind (or maybe that's just ego - I was glad when you finally started paying attention), I am at heart a patriot and a closet optimist.

    America is the greatest country in the world, that ever has been, and maybe, just maybe, ever will be. Hopefully we are on the pendulum swing where things come back to the center and crazy on both sides has to take a break. I believe that America is waking up, at the very least the majority is becoming annoyed. Woe be to the person (or group) that underestimates pissed off Americans.

    As my my father used to say (and we lived in fear of) "You now have my full and undivided attention". We'll see what you'll do with that attention - if you don't do well with it, you will understand why that statement put fear into children, no matter what their age...

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  2. I hope you're right about America. I know you're right about Dad. hehe!
    I'm thinking it's mostly the hair, though. Today I was able to style it, and I'm in excelent spirits. Perhaps Fred Kwan said it best: "It's the simple things in life you treasure."

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